I’m working hard not to be angry and stressed out and scared during my last week before I go back to residency. It is taking all my strength and coping to manage. If I may say, I think I’m doing a pretty good job. And I'm trying not to be resentful that this clusterf*ck is damping my joy at going back to a job I love. I'm being less successful at that.
It is a week into June and I have not yet received all the month’s child support. I have had to drag communication out of my co-parent about when any money might be coming and how much. And today I was presented with a duality - either he can pay me what he owes me (what I depend on to keep house for my children) or he can buy a plane ticket for my daughter to come visit. The timing for her visit is based on theatre tickets for a show that is NEXT WEDNESDAY (6 days from today) and he doesn’t have tickets for her yet. So I looked over my finances and figured out how little I could manage with for the next week.
Both kids are in need of plane tickets for their summer plans and they have not been acquired yet either. I have a FB friend who might let me use some points or miles or something to try to help with things if he fails to provide, and I spent some time with my credit union seeing if I could increase my credit limit on my currently maxed credit card.
I am grateful that this is a temporary reality, that I know in 2 and a half years I will have a salary that will make his contributions irrelevant to my survival. Unfortunately this makes the current reality no less dire or stressful.
I am grateful that this is a temporary reality, that I know in 2 and a half years I will have a salary that will make his contributions irrelevant to my survival. Unfortunately this makes the current reality no less dire or stressful.
In the past, I’ve relied on the generosity of friends for these hard moments. In that spirit, I offer an exchange: any sort of support (financial, material, emotional) and I am at your disposal by phone, text or FB messenger to help you with medical questions - interpreting lab results, talking through a problem, helping understand & navigate a hospitalization or guiding you through am interaction with your doctor. Not diagnosing or prescribing, but more of a medical tour guide, helping your health care be more approachable and understandable. I think people who have taken me up on this in the past have gotten some good out of it.
If anyone wants to help us out of the tight spot that we are in for the next couple of weeks, I would greatly appreciate it, whether it is with a donation or a comment on a post - anything that helps me feel your love & support is greatly appreciated. I struggle with isolation during these moments, because I'm very stressed out about the situation and my children are completely oblivious. I try very hard not to expose them to the stress between their father and I, and I don't want my relationship with him to color theirs. Commenting on FB really does help - it increases the visibility of the post and makes me feel good, I swear. If you are able to help financially, I have PayPal and Venmo at my email address, larissa (at) northstarbirth (dot) com. You can contact me there with any questions or comments as well.
If anyone wants to help us out of the tight spot that we are in for the next couple of weeks, I would greatly appreciate it, whether it is with a donation or a comment on a post - anything that helps me feel your love & support is greatly appreciated. I struggle with isolation during these moments, because I'm very stressed out about the situation and my children are completely oblivious. I try very hard not to expose them to the stress between their father and I, and I don't want my relationship with him to color theirs. Commenting on FB really does help - it increases the visibility of the post and makes me feel good, I swear. If you are able to help financially, I have PayPal and Venmo at my email address, larissa (at) northstarbirth (dot) com. You can contact me there with any questions or comments as well.
Thanks to everyone who has supported us, emotionally & materially, through this arduous process. All of it has been appreciated.
